


Treat me like I matter

by KatrineWild



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Family Issues, Fandral coming to the rescue, Fandral is miserable, He's a fucking asshole!, Hurt Loki (Marvel), I'll add more if I can think of any - Freeform, Loki is miserable, M/M, Magic, Magic-Users, No Smut, Oblivious Thor (Marvel), Odin and Frigga are hard to write, Odin's Bad Parenting (Marvel), Pre-Thor (2011), Someone give them a hug, Tags Are Hard, Tags May Change, They are both miserable, Too oblivious from time to time, for now at least
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:20:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28669878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatrineWild/pseuds/KatrineWild
Summary: Inspired by these:https://norsekink.livejournal.com/12008.html?thread=28116456#t28116456http://archiveofourown.org/works/821785I saw it, I liked it, I'll try it. I am not going to follow the prompt thoroughly or copy from the one I read, I'm making my own shot with it. If you wanna keep reading, trashy summary inside.
Relationships: Fandral/Loki (Marvel), Frigga | Freyja & Loki (Marvel), Frigga | Freyja/Odin (Marvel), Loki & Odin (Marvel), Loki & Thor (Marvel)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 20





	1. Prize

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Warrior and The Prince](https://archiveofourown.org/works/821785) by [fritz_winky](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fritz_winky/pseuds/fritz_winky). 



> Loki is different, and he knows it. He never got along with Thor's friends. They merely accepted him because of his brother. Only Fandral had some sort of respect, but it was still rare.  
> And, of course, this had to change! In a heroic act in favor of the Royal family, Odin gives Loki's hand to Fandral. To say Loki was furious is an understanding. 
> 
> Trashy, yes, I warned you, but if you came thus far, please go on!
> 
> Um, also, this is how I imagine their age difference: Volstagg, Sif, Thor, Hogun, Fandral, Loki. Roughtly, with a few year difference each.

Okay, so messing with the trolls wasn't the best idea. But what could he do? He was bored and in desperate need of adventure. So, when Thor burst into the room with a great offer of adventure, of course, they accepted.

Fandral was waiting for something like this for a week! 

The other warriors were up to it in no time, too.

Only Loki needed a little persuasion and none of the warriors were too happy about the fact the second prince was coming. Thor had a hard time convincing his brother. Eventually, he said he's in, but kept insisting it's only because _someone has to make sure you don't do anything stupid._ And well...his healing skills might come in handy. 

Like, _right now!_

Fandral heard his friends groan in frustration, exhaustion, and pain. They were surrounded with no way to escape. They were deep into the forest where no light came through, a tall stone wall behind their backs, and the trolls kept pressing them back against it. They won't be able to hold their ground much longer. Everyone was tired, with the exception of Thor maybe... He looks so engrossed in what he is doing. Namely, smashing trolls with his hammer. And Loki is nowhere in sight.

Damn.

"Where did that coward go?" he could hear Sif shout enraged. The battle was getting to her. Fandral watched as she stabbed an enemy with her spear and drew it back covered in blood. This is all he saw before he was pulled back to the battle by a loud growl. A troll was charging at him and Fandral had no time to react, standing vulnerable in front of the enemy. But before the giant could reach him a dagger flew out of nowhere, piercing the creature through the throat, effectively stopping it in its track, killing it on the spot.

Fandral swirled his head around. There, in the shadows, he saw Loki. The young prince looked the worst of them all. Blood was dripping from the side of his face, nose, and lips. If the warrior didn't know better, he would've thought someone collided their fist with his face repeatedly, but that wasn't the case. Well, not fully. The blood dripping from his nose and lips meant he used too much magic and he's on the verge of collapsing. Fandral knew this because...because _reasons_...and that wasn't good. 

The battle continued, and Loki threw one of his daggers, yet again, to save Fandral. Their gazes met and Loki spoke emotionlessly, "You should pay attention to the battle," and with that, he disappeared, attacking from the shadows. 

Fandral went back to his friends. They all look battered and worn. Sif had a cut on her left forearm and a gash on her side, bruises liting her skin where it was visible, bloody spear in hand. Volstagg's shoulder was bleeding badly injured, his armor missing in places with shallow cuts replacing it. Hogun was fairly unharmed, except for a slight limp in his left leg if you looked close. Thor was fine with a few cuts here and there, but he looked unfazed. Fandral himself was sure he had a few broken ribs with a slight ache in his hands from a few injuries. 

They were pressed even further back. The pain and exhaustion from the battle catching up with them, but they couldn't give up. The trolls seem like they were coming from nowhere and weren't decreasing either. 

"Thor! We won't be able to hold them much longer!" Sif yelled, "What are we going to do?" the desperation clear in her voice. 

But before Thor could answer there was a loud cry from their left. Fandral quickly glanced just in time to see Loki falling to the ground, his hip pierced, a giant troll standing above him, ready to strike. The warrior rushed to the fallen prince, stabbing the troll in the gut. Thor was by his side in no time, keeping the offenders away from his brother and his friend. 

The warrior knelt, helping Loki to sit up, whispering so only he could hear, "You should pat attention, my prince."

Said prince groaned, "Not the time."

Of course, he was right. One of theirs was down, and he looked even paler than usual. The blood on his face dark and dry, his eyes missing their glint...not that Fandral knew because he was observing the prince every time he was with them, especially his eyes. No, nothing like it.

"Listen," Loki hissed through gritted teeth, "We are losing this battle-"

"-Tell me something I don't know," Fandral cut him off, earning a glare and a week slap.

"Just listen!" the prince insisted, going straightforward this time, "Go to the left, through the forest, and behind the enemies."

"Won't they see me? And why me?"

Loki glared even harder, "I will ensure your safety," the warrior snored, but before he could say anything Loki continued, "I will use a cloaking spell on you. Go behind them and lure them to sunlight. And do it quick. The sun is about to settle."

Okay, said that way made more sense, but... "Why me?"

Loki groaned in frustration, "Sif won't listen, Hogun can't run - don't tell me you haven't noticed the limping - Volstagg is...Volstagg and my brother will mess it up. Don't tell me he won't because we know he will!" he listed quickly and watched as the warrior nodded dumbly. Don't challenge Loki's wit...and intelligence. Ever!

Fandral stood up and ran to the left as instructed. And as Loki said, he was invisible to the enemy. He made it through the woods and was behind the trolls. Wondering if the spell was still working or not and how he should lure the trolls to sunlight, he heard a growl and looked up just in time to see two giant trolls staring at him. He easily slaughtered them, but the attention of others went to him. And before they could surround him, he ran. They gave a loud growl and followed. 

For such heavy, hulking creatures, the trolls were pretty fast. But Fandral was faster. And the forest was getting more sparse and the light was visible through the branches. He just hoped his friends would chase after them. 

After a few minutes of running the warrior found an opening. He used the last of his energy and sped towards it. He halted to a stop in the middle of the opening, rested his palms on his knees, and panted heavily. The creatures stopped, hiding in the treeline, afraid of the sunlight, roaring in outrage.

The warrior laughed breathlessly, "What? Scared of little light?" they roared again, "Come now. Catch me if you can," he taunted, and one troll actually jumped towards him, but before it could touch Fandral, the giant turned into stone. Fandral just pushed it and it fell to the ground, breaking into pieces. 

While the enemies were roaring and growling, Thor and the other warriors came from behind. Fandral turned and saw unconscious Loki in the hands of the elder brother. Fandral was sure he's passed out after casting his spell on the warrior. The younger still looked pale with a slight frown on his face. But the warrior had to ask. 

"Is he all right?"

There was a humorless snort from Sif, but he ignored it. He had to be sure.

"Yes. I believe he used too much magic," Thor answered. He looked like he wanted to say more, staring into his brother's bloodied face, but he didn't. Instead, he looked up shouting, "Heimdall, take us back," and just in time. The sun was setting.

* * *

After a longer-than-intended stop at the healing room, everyone's wounds were healed as best the healers could, leaving some scars here and there, but nothing too serious. Well, except, Loki hasn't woken up yet. Eir said he needed a lot of rest, his magic was at the absolute minimum, and when Thor asked when the second prince would wake up, she answered they weren't sure. This is a lot of magic to restore and considering how powerful a sorcerer Loki is it might take days until he wakes up, weeks until he is fully ready for combat. 

Sif, Hogun, and Volstagg left a while ago, leaving Thor with his brother. Fandral stayed too. He felt grateful Loki came up with a plan to save their asses and it didn't feel right to leave his side. There was also the guilt. It was Loki's plan and magic that Fandral used and now there was a feist in his name to celebrate it. But he didn't tell them. He was aware of what they'd say if they knew it was Loki. They'd laugh and joke about it, not believing, they'd scowl and call it cheating, not something a man, much less a prince, should do.

And that made Fandral frown.

_N-not that Fandral paid attention to the second prince's life._

No. Where did you get _that_ idea?

Thor cleared his throat and the warrior realized he has been staring into nothing in particular. The frown on his face turned into surprise and he turned to his friend. 

"Why didn't you leave with the others? I thought you might want to get ready for the celebrations tonight."

The warrior regarded the prince for a moment. Thor could be ignorant, telling him what Loki did will bring problems, even if asked to keep quiet and explained to him why not to say anything. Plus, Loki wouldn't like it. 

"He saved me. Before he was injured, he threw a dagger, slicing a troll's throat, stopping it before it could reach me. I owe him," his eyes turned back to Loki. 

Thor stood up and walked to him, placing a hand on Fandral's shoulder, "You returned the favor. You saved all of us," said his friend, squeezing a little, "The feist is starting soon and as much as I don't want to leave my brother, he probably won't wake up any time soon."

With that Thor left the room leaving Fandral with his own thoughts.

The feist will start without him. It just didn't feel right for him to be there while Loki wasn't.

Fandral walked to the chair Thor used and sat down.

He wasn't sure how much time passed before he heard a voice beside him, "I hadn't thought I'd find you here."

The warrior looked up, surprised to see the prince awake. His mouth opened and closed several times, but no words came out. Loki didn't even glance at him, staring blankly at the ceiling. 

Finally, he decided to save the warrior from his attempts to utter a sound and spoke himself, "Why aren't you celebrating with the others? I imagine there is a feist in your name," asked the prince. He may have a blank look on his face, but he didn't try to hide the suspicion in his voice.

"I...um...wanted to say thank you..?" Fandral ducked his head sheepishly, scratching his neck awkwardly. Loki only lifted an eyebrow, still skeptical, "If it wasn't for you, we all would've been dead by now."

"But no one knows," the prince countered flatly, "Yes?"

Fandral sighed, "Yes..."

"So, what are you doing here?"

The warrior stayed silent for a moment, then he sighed again, saying, "It doesn't feel right...to be there."

Loki finally looked at him, perhaps surprised, but his face didn't betray anything. He regarded him for a moment, eyes slightly narrowing. When he spoke his voice was as blank as ever, "You could've gone anywhere, but here you are. Why?"

The warrior stared at the prince. Why? Why is he here? Was it the guilt he felt? Was it that strange feeling he felt every time he was around the prince? But...what was it?

This simple question, yet he had no answer. 

"Maybe I wanted to keep you company..." Fandral started hesitantly, something he was only around the second prince - hesitant, "I was worried. Eir said you won't wake up for a few days." 

Loki snorted, a small smirk playing on his lips, "I did not know you care about me that much you would skip a chance to get drunk and bed maidens," the amusement was clear in his voice, but the doubt and suspicion were there too. It made Fandral's heart clench...something only the words of the second prince could do. 

"And Eir," continued the sorcerer, "would be right if I were any other mage. Using this much magic _is_ dangerous, but I am not new to the mystic arts," the amusement completely wiping from Loki's voice and face, leaving a void of emotion again. 

Fandral stayed silent, heart clenching painfully. 

Loki was restraining himself, he knew. Years of observing the second prince taught Fandral that not only Loki was an excellent liar when he wanted to be, but also great at hiding and restraining his emotions. Thus, his glory as the _dark_ prince. He could be cold, calculating, and unnervingly calm. His eyes never betraying him. Sometimes the warrior wondered why Loki couldn't just be himself. And he always reminded himself that Loki was too different. Knowing as much as he knows of the second prince now is equivalent to nothing. 

But he wanted to know. Wanted to be Loki's friend. Real friend. And maybe the feeling...? Wanted to understand it. Understand _him_.

As much as the others pretended to get along with Thor's younger brother, they didn't. Sif openly hated him, Volstagg was indifferent most of the time, Hogun didn't voice it, but he wasn't fond of the second prince. In the beginning, Fandral was like them, but he saw the pain, the hints directed at the elder brother. The elder brother, that always turned him down. That was oblivious to the world. That saw only what he wanted to see. Eventually, Loki stopped trying, turning even colder. 

And Fandral just watched.

Movement from beside him alerted him and he quickly glanced up, just now realizing he had zoned out. Loki was sitting on the edge of the bed, trying to stand up.

"My prince," the warrior shot to his feet, placing a hand on Loki's shoulder, "I don't think it's wise to-"

The young prince put a hand up, silencing the other, "I want to go to my room," he said flatly, looking pointedly into the other man's eyes. Without his magic, he couldn't teleport, and with his pierced hip, walking would be hard, "If you are not going to be useful, do not stand in my way."

Fandral looked hesitant for a moment but nodded. He asked permission to help the other to his room. After receiving a shrug, the warrior adjusted one of the prince's hands over his shoulder, placing his hand on the younger one's waist. 

The walk wasn't as awkward for Loki as it was for Fandral. Or, if it was, he didn't show it. The two were silent all the way there. With practiced ease - gained during this kind of events - the second prince led them through the halls of the palace, avoiding everyone they saw in their way. Within minutes they were at the door leading to his room.

Loki stopped, looking at the warrior expectantly. Fandral returned the gaze questioningly, before realizing what the prince was 'telling' him. He hesitantly let go, asking, "Are you sure you'll be alright?"

The sorcerer looked skeptical for a moment. Perhaps thinking this might be some sort of a trap, or...something. Always guarded, it was sad to think he played a part in it.

Loki didn't answer. He just opened the door, walked in, and closed the door, without a single word to Fandral. The warrior stayed there for what seemed like an eternity when in reality it was just a few minutes, before turning around and walking to his own room. He wasn't in the mood to celebrate. His emotions were complicated enough, anyway.

He arrived there without much trouble. None of his friends spot him, nor any warriors or servants he might know. He fell to his bed the second the door was closed. Fandral felt exhausted. He was rarely alone with Loki and every time it felt harder than fighting with two broken arms. And that unidentifiable emotion that made his stomach twist painfully when his prince turned him down. Every time someone made fun of him, he was fuming with rage. Wanting to be close when alone, to talk, Loki to trust him, to be near him without a reason at all.

What was that...

This foreign feeling...

Could it be...

...Love?

The idea both scared and excited Fandral. He's slept with so many, mainly women, but there were men too, and none of them could hold him. He always told himself he can leave them, and he always could, but Loki... There was something about the second prince that kept him...interested. Was it just his desire to have a Royalty to add to his seemingly endless list of conquests? Or was it genuine, honest...um...love?? It sounds wrong, so, so, _so wrong._

No, Loki is no conquest. No ordinary maiden, warrior, sorcerer, or whatever. He is Loki.

_He is Loki..._

And that seemed to be the problem.

There is _no way_ in the Nine Realms Loki would return his feelings. With both their reputations. 

With a tired sigh, Fandral decided he will think about it tomorrow, with the headache that was threatening him, the exhaustion of the day, and it was already late, maybe even after midnight. He hasn't washed from the battle yet, neither has he changed his clothes, just left the armor in the healing rooms when the healers were tending to him. He'll go get it tomorrow. The warrior tried to relax and let sleep take him, but it took longer than expected, with his thoughts drifting back and forth to the subject of Loki. And the more he thought, the more sure he felt his feelings were real. Finally, he fell into a semi-peaceful sleep.

* * *

The next day he was uneventful for Fandral. He woke up later than he usually did, but everyone else woke up about an hour later. He went to breakfast - and was disappointed Loki was not present, but he figured the prince must be tired. After all, he had one nasty injury on his hip. A little exercises and target practice before lunch, and sparing in the afternoon.

Well, uneventful, before he was summoned by one of the servants. The king wished to speak with him and the other warriors. 

When they arrived at the throne room, the Royal family was already there - Odin on the throne, Frigga by his side, Thor and Loki on the lower steps on the dais. The four warriors bowed with a similar, respectful 'My king' before standing upright again. 

Fandral's eyes slightly turned toward Loki. The prince was leaning on his uninjured leg and the air around him seemed charged. Maybe his magic was returning too fast and his body was still too weak to channel the energy. He looked calm as ever, a little tense in his lower body - because of the injury - and expressionless. 

_Well, everything is back to normal, then._

The king said his name and the warrior snapped back to reality. He saw Loki smirk ever so _slightly_ from the corner of his eyes. He bowed, seeing his friends had moved to stand to the side.

"Fandral the Dashing," started the king, "You showed such courage and bravery yesterday, saving both my sons and I want to reward you. I want you to be part of the royal family," - _wait, WHAT?!_ \- Fandral could feel his eyes widen, could see Thor's barely hidden grin, Loki's calculating, suspicious eyes moving back and forth, could feel Odin's satisfaction, Frigga's _indifference._ His friends being both awestruck and suspicious. 

"You will take the hand of my second son in marriage," the king announced and the room became early quiet...

...For a startled, choked noise to be heard by said second son. A silent "What..." barely audible.

All eyes turned in Loki's direction, the charged air around him, bursting with static, expression horrified and hurt, and were those tears in his eyes. Thor patted him on the back, saying something to him, but everything was starting to buzz, to hear something was nearly impossible now, and judging by how the second prince backed away from his family, the words his brother used had the opposite effect on him. Loki was between the warriors and the Royal family, green energy cracking around him.

And then his distraught, frustrated, horrified expression went blank, everything exploding in green energy. Everything turned into chaos, the magic around the prince finding its way under their skins, making them tingle with pain, most intense in the hip. His family was trying to get his attention - Thor more desperately than his parents - but the sorcerer did not acknowledge them. It looked like he couldn't even hear them. And... _those were tears_...tears running down his cheeks. But he didn't acknowledge them either. 

The pain intensified. The energy spreading in the whole throne room, maybe in answer to what the Royal family was saying. The air was buzzing too much to make out words, just muffled noises. Everyone fell to their knees, but still no reaction from Loki. Some servants ran from the room - or tried to - and the guards were paralyzed in their places on the ground. Still no reaction from Loki. But his magic was wild. Now all of them had a better understanding of why the sorcerer was known as the God of Chaos, among other things. 

A new wave of pain shot when Thor tried to lunge at his brother. The magic sealing him to the wall. It was like it has a mind on its own. But everything hurt too much to think, all of them starting to go _through_ the floor. Fandral could hear his friends shout at the second prince, but still no reaction. 

Finally, seeing the destruction around him, the pain _everyone, including the Royal family,_ was in, he tried to call him. One weak, even scared, "Loki..." escaped his mouth, and that seemed to do the trick.

Said prince snapped his head to him, tears running down his face. He quickly glanced around the room, expression once again horrified, before turning back to Fandral. His face morphed into a hurt, _betrayed_ frown, his breath hitching, a silent sob escaping him. He answered the warrior with an equally weak "Why...?" before the magic shot in the room again, blinding everyone. But this time it felt like the energy was actually retracting towards Loki. 

When they opened their eyes again, the pain was gone, the magic and the chaos too, but so was Loki. 

And then, there was a hunted, broken scream heard down the halls. No doubt from the second prince. 

The warriors and Thor glanced uncertainly at each other. They have never seen Loki use this much magic. Never seen this much power. 

If this is what is inside Loki _all_ the time, much less when he's in his weakest - well, maybe not weakest, he's healing quite fast for a _'weakling' -_ none of them wanted to know what it's like when he is completely healed. 

But...there was something else on everyone's mind right now. The announcement was made and Fandral now has to take Loki's hand.

Well, Loki hadn't seemed enthusiastic about it...


	2. Out of control

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo, I was part of a very interesting conversation recently. I'm skipping the boring stuff and going directly to the point. I've never experienced love in my entire life. I'm still considered a kid by my family (even though I'm officially a teen) and I wanted to know if I'm portraying it well enough. I've only read about love, seen it in movies, but not experienced it myself, so I have no idea how it works. Please tell me if I'm not doing it right, I'll try my best to correct it.

The next four mounts were the worst in Fandral's life.

First, most servants and guards were sent to the healing rooms because of what Loki's magic had done to them.

The day after the accident in the throne room, the queen explained what happened. Apparently, Loki lost control of his magic. Andthis never happened to him before.

The first week Thor tried to talk to his brother, but it turned out to be too soon. Every time he tried, he found himself flying into - or through - a wall, being slammed into the ground, or ceiling - which was worst than the floor because of the high ceilings in the palace. When this proved useless, the queen tried. She wasn't thrown anywhere, but the pain under her skin and the intensity of the magic around Loki didn't let her anywhere near him. She needed less than two days to give up on the idea. And after his encounter with his second son, the king could barely stand upright. No one knew what happened to him.

After the first month, things were getting back to normal. The servants were afraid to bring food and drinks and whatever the prince asked them to - which wasn't much, really - to him. Not a small amount of them were found in the healing rooms afterward. The dark prince started going out again, to everyone's dismay. Yes, he mainly stayed in his own company, but the others avoided him like some sort of a wild beast.

Sif actually tried to talk to the sorcerer, confronting him in a deserted corridor. She said she could feel the energy in the air, and the closer you get to the prince the more powerful and chaotic it became. He had tried to hide his emotions, she said, but she could see it all on his face and body posture. Sif hadn't told them what happened next because even she couldn't remember. She had said something, but after that everything had been a blur. The next thing she remembered had been waking in the healing room with a note written in Loki's handwriting saying he was sorry.

Fandral grew frustrated after this encounter. He found Loki one day in one of the gardens - that no one went to unless to water the plants - and snuck behind his back. One moment he remembers touching Loki's shoulder, head snapping in his direction, green eyes glowing, and the next, he's in the healing room, everything aching. A note written in the dark sorcerer's handwriting saying 'Never do that again!' and in a smaller shrift 'I apologize for what happened in the garden.'

After _that_ incident, no one dared near the dark prince. Much less, surprise him. 

The second month was somewhat better. Loki was nowhere to be seen, and everyone was beside themselves because of it. Thor was worried, of course, but he was also fed up with being thrown into and through objects - most frequently the nearest wall. Fandral didn't hold a grudge against the second prince. He surprised the seemingly emotionally unstable sorcerer. The servants actually stopped bringing food to his room, which indicated that he either told them to stop, or he wasn't there at all. 

Since no one wanted to end up in the healing rooms, Fandral went to ask the king and queen, but they, too, knew nothing. 

Somewhere in the middle of the third month, Loki had been once again seen in the palace. In a few days, rumors from other warriors and servants were heard. The second prince had had an argument with his family, ending with Thor and Odin unconscious, Frigga's magic barely saving her from the same faith, and Loki's hunted, agonizing screams echoing through the halls for hours on end.

The king was in a foul mood all week, Frigga's indifference seemed to grow, Thor almost killed Fandral the next day. Good thing the others managed to calm him before he could, saying this wasn't Fandral's decision in the first place. The first-born then confronted his father intending to stop the marriage. Then he too was in a foul mood for a week.

Most people started blaming Loki at the beginning of the fourth month. The Royal family was arguing all of the time. Most of the time - if not all - Loki hadn't even been present. Thor was there during all of the confrontations. Frigga and Odin started disagreeing more often on different matters. Loki was locked in his room, nobody was sure either by his own choice or by the king's will. It didn't matter to them either way. They were content with not seeing the sorcerer. But Fandral couldn't help but worry. 

The realm was in chaos. And the God of Chaos was a mess himself. 

The commoners and the poorer were on the verge of starting a civil war. The novelties and the ambassadors were growing impatient. The guards and the servants were refusing their duties.

Who knew Loki had such an impact on the realm?

Fandral wanted to help him. But how do you help someone whose problem is with you?

Tonight there will be another 'argument', like everyone started calling them because, really, that was all this was about. All four members of the Royal family were proud and stubborn. The warrior wanted to be present but decided against it. He was sure the king would've allowed him if he asked, but he didn't want to please the king, he wanted to make Loki feel more at ease, even a little. He still wasn't sure why so many nobles and court members would be present.

During the last four months, Fandral hasn't been himself and everyone knew it. He tried to not show them how much he actually cared for the second prince. But from the last time he saw the prince up until now he hadn't bedded anyone. Hadn't flirted, at some point stopped eating and training as much as he used to. His friends were worried, his 'I'm fine's nothing more than empty words because to everyone was more than clear he wasn't. 

Who knew Loki had such an impact on him?

Fandral laid down in his bed, staring at the ceiling. It was late at night and he was wide awake. No screams were heard, no news delivered, so everyone was still in the throne room. He just wished Loki was alright. 

He wasn't sure how long it had been before he heard something besides himself and then a loud _'thud'._ He was on his feet in seconds, weapon drawn from the stand on his other side. When the green smoke cleared he could see Loki's eyes. The air buzzed, the magic around the prince ever presented, it started destroying the room, but Fandral couldn't see it. He couldn't even register when the sword fell from his grip. The only thing he could register was the sorcerer kneeling on the floor, green eyes locked with blue. The energy under his skin tingled painfully, but the warrior was staring at the figure, slowly rising from the floor.

Before Fandral could move, he felt two arms wrapping tightly around him, trembling body pressed to his own and the magic...the _magic_. It wasn't the chaotic force of destruction, nor the painful, sometimes bone-crushing energy. It was a pleasant bliss. He could feel all his wounds healing, leaving soft, smooth skin in their place. 

The shock of being this close to his loved one, to not be sent to the healing rooms after their encounter, was quickly overcame when he heard a soft sob. He immediately wrapped his hands around the trembling prince, hugging just as tightly. This broke the other even further, pressing his head to the warm chest, he started crying, like a small child to their parent.

And before he could even register it, "What happened?" the sentence escaped his mouth. Loki shuddered from head to toes but didn't let go. None of them said anything more.

After an hour or so, the best hour or so both of them had in months, Loki's trembling subsided, his cries too. Neither of them let go, though. 

"Want to sit down?" Fandral asked, Loki nodded against his chest. Finally letting go, the warrior led them to his bed. They sat side by side, Loki looking at his feet, head in one hand. Fandral watched the second prince from the corner of his eye, taking in his looks. His hair was longer, his shoulders were tense, but he couldn't feel the magic anymore, nor the buzzing in the air. Everything seemed much clearer now. 

"Would you...would you tell me what happened?" the warrior whispered.

Loki stayed silent for a moment, maybe gathering his thoughts. Then, he whispered back weakly, "They will not give up...but they will not listen to me either. They don't care..."

Well, this did not make any sense. 

"What do you mean?" Fandral looked at the mage and saw he was tenser.

Loki swallowed, "They want to take my magic from me."

Loki braced himself for the upcoming laughter, the scoffs of 'and that's what you cried about', the scowls of 'that's a women's craft' or 'it'll be better that way, for the whole realm'. That's what the novelties in the courtroom said, and more. More rude, disapproving comments. More praises to what Odin tried to do. More yells to chain him up and take his power away.

Fandral saw the distress, the magic around them once again slowly eating its way under his skin, the slight pain it brought, but he didn't move. He gently placed his palm over the one holding the second prince's head.

The action surprised Loki and he looked up with wide eyes. The warrior was smiling at him, eyes soft. He didn't understand what the sorcerer was talking about, that much was clear to him, but there was _understanding_ in those blue eyes. He let his hand fall to his side, but Fandral didn't move his, caressing his cheek with his thumb, and Loki leaned slightly into the touch.

The magic curled around them, not completely disappearing, but no longer as chaotic and destructive. This amazed Fandral. The magic was part of Loki, it was reacting to him, to his emotions, being both a shield and a weapon. He suddenly understood how wrong he was - all of them - about the magic. How little he actually knew of it. Of Loki.

"Tell me..." Fandral whispered. The sorcerer hummed questioningly, frowning. Fandral indicated around them with his other hand, "Explain it to me. Your magic."

Loki's eyes widened impossibly much, hand going to his mouth, a soft gasp escaping him. The dark prince just stared wanting to make sure he heard correctly. Searching the face of the warrior for any indication he was insincere, that he did not want to know, that he was just biding his time so he could later hand Loki to someone and be over with it. He found nothing, but concern...

He nodded warily, swallowing, "Magic flows through everything, through everyone," the sorcerer started quietly, still searching the face of the other, "It is connected with a person's soul. Everyone has it, some have easier access to it, it flows more freely within them, or simply have more energy they need to convey. Others need more practice, but eventually, they would be able to use it more freely," Loki averted his gaze downward, moving away from Fandral's touch, "Magic is connected with emotions. The stronger they are the stronger the magic, but also, the more dangerous it becomes for the user and everyone around them."

Fandral hesitantly wrapped a hand around the prince's waist, but there was no reaction. Still, he didn't dare move.

"It is important to be in control of your inner energy so you could control the outer. To hide, fake, and pretend - like I usually do - results in losing the inner battle, thus losing the control, and...we know what happens next..." the sorcerer trailed off bitterly. After a moment, he started again, "Having as much energy as I, it is impossible to ignore it. And even if I didn't want to learn, I had to so those kinds of incidents never happen."

Fandral could feel his eyes widen, "Wait! You didn't want to learn sorcery?"

Loki snorted, "I wasn't sure if I do. Thor always thought it lesser, cowardly, unmanly," there was something bitter in those words, "but I always wanted to try. Either way, I had to learn."

Silence hung between them, but not an awkward or unpleasant one. Loki still refused to look up, and Fandral was okay with it. But there was one question he wanted to be answered. Maybe it will ruin whatever progress they made, but he had to know, "And what happens if you remove it?"

Loki bit his lower lip, tensing once more -when had he relaxed in the first place? Sighing heavily, he answered, "Magic is as much part of me as the skin and bones in our bodies. To remove this much energy from someone - with training much less - ought to be painful. If your or Thor's magic was removed you might be disorientated for a few hours, but if my magic was removed it will weaken me - both physically and mentally. Maybe..." he trailed off and shook his head as if clearing his thoughts, "The near removal was traumatizing enough experience I'd like _never_ repeats again."

They fell silent again, this time the air heavier around them. Fandral finally let go of the other's wais folding his hands in his lap.

"I'm sorry," the warrior whispered.

Loki didn't look up, just kept staring at his feet, "Whatever for?" he whispered just as quietly.

There was a pause before an even quieter whisper reached the sorcerer's ear, "...For everything."

The whole situation was so out of control. They did not know what to do. What was someone to do in this sort of situation? The guards would soon come to look for the second prince. They would soon come to take the only thing that made him so special. So unique. So different.

And now...Now there were too many questions. More than the answers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was just so excited and managed to finish another, shorter chapter sooner than expected. Don't expect all the chapters to be so quickly written, I can be lazy. Just the excitement helped finish this one sooner. Updates might be slow.  
> Till next time!


	3. Questions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I lied. Here's another chapter posted sooner than expected. I obviously feel less lazy than usual, but don't get used to it. In the worst-case scenario, the chapters will be a month and a half to two apart, and if I suddenly stop posting, I might have given up (let's hope I don't!) I have big plans for this fic!

_Loki walked down the halls to his parents' chamber. Every servant and guard making him way. When he was close to his parents' chamber he slowed down, frowning suspiciously. Where were the guards usually present? He heard the queen and the king talking and used the little control over his magic he had left to make sure they won't feel his presence._

_"We ought to tell him," he could hear his mother say._

_"He is not ready yet," his father countered. But who were they talking about? "You saw how he reacted. We can not risk the safety of the realm," the king changed the direction of the discussion. Loki silently scoffed - typical for Odin._

_"And if we keep it any longer from him he will take the truth harder," the queen argued. There was a pause, the king was mulling this over it seemed._

_"I will give him a week. If he does not calm his emotions I will be forced to use drastic measures," Odin warned. Loki could feel his eyes widen. Were they talking about him? If so, what haven't they told him? What truth they have kept from him? But then again, were they talking about him?_

_"I will see what I can do," Frigga answered calmly, "And what about his heritage?"_ **_heritage?_** _Loki grimaced. So that was what they were originally discussing? Who's heritage? Was this really about him? He was_ their _son. ...Right? It couldn't be Thor, he was the heir to the throne, everyone knew it, even without announcement. Thor wasn't officially the crowned prince, but it was obvious who's the favorite one. But did that mean...? Yes, he was a little different from..._ everyone... _Loki shook his head, he didn't want to think about it._

 _"We will tell him in due time. We can not make any mistakes, we must have full control over the situation," but Loki heard the undertone of 'we ought to control_ him _'. He did not know why, but he felt the urge to run, to hide, to_ disappear.

_And that's what he did. His magic prickling around him and before he knew it, he was no longer in the palace. He had teleported somewhere, and he had the nagging feeling he knew where he was._

_Alfheim._

* * *

Loki woke up with a start. He looked around panicked. Then, the events of last night returned. 

_"Chain him!"_

_"You brought this upon yourself!"_

_"Why the struggle?"_

_"SILENCE!" his father turned to him, "Do not make this harder than it already is."_

Loki shoved the thought away, sat up in bed - not his bed - and took another, more thorough, look around the room and saw Fandral sleeping in a chair. He had offered his bed to the prince, saying he'd stay guard. Apparently, he couldn't keep up all night and fell asleep in his chair. The sorcerer felt something like guilt at the thought. Fandral the Dashing, fearsome warrior, and the maidens' biggest weakness, someone that wouldn't stop to anything to achieve his goal, taking orders from no one, so easily surrendering to Loki's every 'whim'. He didn't even question the reason behind the prince's choice to come here, just accepted it.

Loki stood up and walked to the window. It was still dark outside, so it hasn't been that long since he fell asleep. Good. The guards would eventually come to the conclusion where he went to. He could disappear for another month, or for longer. 

Things were starting to make sense now. Thoughts were clicking into place in his head. If those were the drastic measures his father talked about, because what more drastic than taking somebody's magic, and what his mother said about telling the truth about someone's heritage, then that meant they were not his parents, never were. And Thor... No. Loki shook his head. He needed more proof to support his theory. And where did Fandral fit into this mess?

"What are you thinking about?" a groggy voice startled him out of his thoughts. The sorcerer glanced in Fandral's direction to see him stretching and standing up, a little forced smile on his face. 

Loki frowned and looked out of the window into the dark sky. The sun will soon start shining and the sky was turning a lighter shade of blue. 

"May I ask you something?" the prince asked instead, eyes lost in thought again. Fandral nodded with a silent 'yes', moving closer to the window, "Why didn't you turn me to the guards? Or the king and queen, for that matter? Why helping _me_?" Loki folded his hands behind his back, picking at his palm, something he inherited from his mo- Frigga... The dark prince sighed. It did not feel right to call her by name, but it did not feel right to call her mother anymore, too. For the first time in his life, Loki wished he is wrong, but he knew better than to hope. It was futile.

Fandral cleared his throat, startling the prince, who now had to remember he was not alone in his room and pay more attention to the world around, "And in the same way, I could ask you why choosing _me_ when you can go wherever you want?" So, now he was questioning? Maybe he was a little hasty with the conclusion...

The second prince frowned, pressing his lips tightly, "Answer my question and I will answer yours," he suggested, which sounded more like a demand, but the warrior obliged all the same.

Staring out the window, watching the sky changing its colors while down was coming, he said softly, "You came to me," Loki eyed him from the corner of his eye, "You...trusted me. I didn't want to betray your trust. It is so rare you give it to someone," Fandral looked at the prince who was now returning the gaze, "You don't know how much it means to me," he finished with a smile, genuine this time.

Loki could feel his eyes widen. No one trusted him. Well, maybe Thor did, but after what occurred the last few months he doubted it. And Thor is - supposedly - family. The second prince was so suspicious of everything, it was really a rare sight to see him trust someone, but someone to trust him in return? 

Fandral smirked amused, "Now you answer my question."

Loki sighed, turning his head, but this time to watch the city that was awaking, shops opening, people walking down the streets, "Yes, you could say I do trust you," the prince whispered, "But do I have a choice? Would anyone else do this for me? Would they listen to me?" Fandral could see the pain in those green eyes. There was a pause before, "Thor was there," the second prince said aggravated, "and he did nothing! Nothing, but watch. Lady Sif wouldn't have spared me a glance, and the other two wouldn't have thought twice before bringing me back."

Fandral mulled this for a moment. Yes, his friends would have done that, but Thor? Okay, he got it, Thor was fed up with the situation. But he was responsible for it too! If it wasn't for him, they wouldn't have gone to the trolls. And, now that he thought about it, the grin during the announcement. He knew it! He knew what the king was going to say. But Loki didn't...

"And how do you know you can trust me?" the question was out before he knew it.

The sorcerer made a humming noise, "Do I?" 

"You just said you do."

"No, I said I trust you, not that I know _why_ ," a grin was playing on the dark prince's lips.

"Fair enough. May I ask something else then?"

Loki shrugged and looked down at the city again, "I owe you answers. It is only fair after what you've done for me last night."

"Why did you lose control that day?" the prince shot him a look. Fandral cleared his throat and tried again, "What I mean is...um...well, I understand why you might have been against it, but uh...I don't think it is that much of a deal to lose control. To be enraged would be an understatement, but emotional breakdown?"

The sorcerer sighed heavily, "You clearly do _not_ understand how politics works," he said tiredly. One glance at the warrior told him he wanted an explanation. Loki sighed again, this time more irritated, "When a prince marries a princess, he is the dominant one in the relationship. When a prince marries a woman - no matter a queen or a commoner - he is the dominant one. When a princess marries, the man is always the dominant one. When two women marry, the higher class family decides - usually the father, and since we are talking about nobles, in a lot of cases, the king. When two men marry, it is the same principle. And since I was decided to be your _'prize'_...I think you understand it now."

Those narrowed eyes, frowning face, the clenched jaw...Fandral averted his gaze feeling like an idiot. But of course! This proud creature, promised, without their knowledge, to someone as notorious with the ladies as Fandral, someone who had so many lovers throughout the years. Who could blame him? He wasn't even _told._ And to be failed not only by his family but by himself. Because the plan was his and Fandral was just the _lucky_ guy to execute it. Now that he thought about it..."Do you blame me for all of this?"

The prince bit his lower lip and looked down, "No, I do not. I blame Thor for being the idiot he is. I blame my father for not telling me..." the sentence was left unfinished, with some sort of an undertone Fandral couldn't catch, "But most of all, I blame myself."

"Don't," the warrior said gently, "It was not your fault. If it wasn't for you, we all would have died," he tried to reassure the prince. 

"If it wasn't for the both of us," said prince corrected him, "But I could have stopped Thor, somehow. Or perhaps I shouldn't have come in the first place."

Fandral stared disbelieving at the sorcerer, "You would have left us to die?" he whispered, rage boiling in him.

"You would have survived," Loki grimaced, "Odin would not let his golden prince and his friends die," the disgust, the hatred. Odin wouldn't do something like this for Loki. With his luck, this may be just another one of his fath- of the king's tests. Maybe he had been watching the whole time himself or asked Heimdall. Maybe those had been his intentions from the start. To get rid of Loki in some way, without killing him, for some sort of advantage. If that was the case...what? What would he do? And what had Fandral to do with all of this?! Was the marriage the way the Allfather was disposing of him? Everything was such a mess, a puzzle he needed to solve. 

There was a long pause.

And then, there was knocking on the door. Loki quickly glanced in the direction of the sound, magic already prickling around him. Fandral felt the shift in the air, but somehow, the energy wasn't painful anymore. It felt like some sort of a shield, of protection on his skin. Is that how Loki feels it.

Another few knocks were heard and a voice accompanying them, "Fandral, are you in there?" lady Sif asked.

"Yes," the warrior answered a little uncertainly. Loki glanced at him, a clear message in his poisonous green eyes 'if you betray me you _are_ dead' kind of look. The prince teleported, but Fandral couldn't tell, the air was still charged, "Give me a minute, I'm coming!" he shot back to Sif - the other two of the warriors three and Thor were surely there too - and went to change his clothes. 

"Alright, we will be waiting out here!" Sif called back.

Fandral opened his wardrobe and suddenly remembered Loki's - or the lack of - presence. He turned and whispered into the empty room, "Loki? Are you still there?" he got no answer. That both relieved him and unsettled him. He quickly changed his clothes, took his rapier - that was still lying on the floor from last night - and went in the hall to meet his friends. Surprisingly, Thor wasn't there, but he didn't have to wait long to get an answer. Sif told him. The golden prince was looking for his brother, and from what he heard, they knew of what took place last night in the courtroom. Perhaps Thor told them. And they all agreed with the Allfather, Thor included. 

This made Fandral's blood boil, but he didn't voice it, he kept a facade. 

The day went on like usual. They went to breakfast, then had a little break before training. Lunch, about two hours to fool around - Thor joined them for this - a little spar at the training grounds. Fandral needed to expel the energy he kept in all day. He didn't know Loki had to deal with this much hatred, displeasure, disappointment all the time. Now that the whole realm talked about it. He needed to let it all out.

* * *

Fandral was spent. He walked into his room and crashed on the bed. His thoughts going to a certain dark prince. It's been a few days since they talked last. The warrior was starting to worry. Yes, Loki can survive on his own for a couple of months, so what was mere days. But still, he worried sick for the second prince. Where was he? What was he doing? Why hasn't he come back? Did he say something to disturb the sorcerer? Would he ever have the chance to apologize? To tell Loki how he feels...?

Were those feelings even true...?

Yes, Loki was no ordinary Asgardian, no conquest, but was this just his sense of loyalty, of knowing this would never happen? And the feeling of excitement, the thrilling twist in his stomach every time he saw the prince?

So many questions and no answers at all. If he started to dig deeper he would end up with twice as many questions and zero answers!

Fandral growled in frustration. 

He might have to accept it. Loki was gone, and maybe not coming back. Fandral wouldn't judge him if he decided to disappear. In fact, if he was in the dark prince's place, he probably would've ran much sooner, never to be seen again. The fact that Loki stayed to at least have a last conversation - albeit, a strange one - and a goodbye of sorts spoke loud enough. Some might say it was cowardly, but he knew a lot of the warriors would run as far as possible if facing the same circumstances. What Loki displayed was bravery none of them had. And with the whole kingdom against you, that deserved applause!

Before he knew it, he had fallen asleep. With his armor on...

Only to be woken by a cold hand on his shoulder. He looked up to see Loki kneeling in front of the bed, a distressed frown on his face.

The warrior shifted, sitting up and trying to stifle a yawn. The prince stood up, waiting. The other indicated with a nod he was listening.

After a long pause, in which Loki looked uncertain if he should tell him what was worrying him, he spoke, "I need your help," he whispered desperately, "But, please, promise you won't tell anyone, even the king and the queen," the second prince almost begged.

Something must've happened, something big. Loki almost never used his parents' titles. And to keep a secret from the royal couple? This is really big.

The warrior nodded, determined to help the sorcerer, and ready to confront his feelings. To see if he really felt love, and what was so important Loki wanted his secrecy. This is as much for Loki as it is for him.

"You have my word," he said with as much determination as there was in his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven't noticed by now, I despise Odin! And since I recently read a fanfic in which Frigga didn't give a shit about her family...yeah, I'm doing it. Also, I am against the idea of men being the dominant ones in a relationship! That's why I'm portraying it this way through Loki's character. I'm just saying if you got the wrong idea. No hate, please!


	4. Escape

_Loki walked down the hallway to the Royal couple's chambers. This time there were guards stationed there. They a little hesitantly moved to stop him from entering, but one look and a poisons green glow in his eyes, were enough to make the guards rethink their decision. They moved to let him in and the second prince dismissed them, telling them to get far away from here. They did not complain, their shift was over soon, anyway._

_The sorcerer walked in, face impassive._

_"Loki," both the king and the queen said in unison, Odin said it darkly and warningly, Frigga more questioningly and with fake concern. She stepped closer, but Loki took a step back, making her stop. At least they could take a hint, unlike Thor._

_"Am I your son?" he blurted the question before they could say anything else._

_The pause was short, but still there, this little uncertain moment. This was enough to break the little doubt he had left in him._

_"Yes," Odin's strong voice echoed, in comparison to the small uncertain silence. Loki's face remained impassive, his magic on the other hand didn't. Now though, he was more in control. The talk with Fandral really help. And as long as they can't feel the energy surging through him everything is well._

_"Why would you ask?" Frigga voiced gently, a small smile on her lips._

_He completely ignored her, "Then why would you try to take my magic?" he asked instead - which sounded more like a cold statement, like he knew something, "You wouldn't do that to Thor now, would you? And since both of you know how to use it, you know how painful it might be," now that was said firmly and as a statement._

_Odin almost growled, how dare this ungrateful creature to talk back to him?_

_"Your magic is dangerous," it was said in a firm, raised voice, with all the authority of a king, "And you are acting recklessly, selfishly, like a spoiled, little child," Odin accused._

_Loki let go of his magic. He needed to divert their attention from his first question and if they were, even a little bit, doubtful of his motives, something will go wrong in his plan. He knew very well, he couldn't hide for the rest of his life - a very long life - from the Allfather, and then Thor, and then his children too..._

_So, he let the impression of being upset by this comment by letting his magic flow freely, relieving him of the painful energy. He felt relief but hid it well. And his upset energy flow was enough to prove Odin right. Yes, Loki had a long way to go until he was in control of himself again. But for now, as long as he could act without much trouble, everything was fine._

_And just on time, outside he heard the guards coming for their shift. What he did not expect was for Odin to actually attack him with his own magic. This caught the prince off guard. The Allfather rarely used magic himself, not that he was bad with welding it, but it was such rare sight that made Loki shudder. He was thinking too much, too long, he let himself slip. He was used to verbal battles, not physical ones, not with Odin._

_The power from Gungnir threw him off balance and straight to the wall - hmm, that's how it must have felt for Thor - weakening him with the shot. Binding magic, the sorcerer recognized, he could sense it in the air. The dark prince was quick to his feet, but the guards had already heard the commotion inside and now were in. Now matters were getting complicated._

_"Do not let him escape," and the guards were quick on the defense. They were scared, that was clear, even if trained. Still, four guards weren't enough to keep the mage down._

_The second prince let the full destructive potential of his magic go. Even if bound, he was too uncontrollable, chaotic, dangerous. Hmm, losing control of yourself could be helpful. Even Odin couldn't control that much power, Loki could...when emotionally stable, of course._

_Both Odin and Frigga tried to keep his magic down, but couldn't go much close. He forced the guards to their knees and shot past them, running into the hallways, and wherever his feet would carry him. His magic making his steps silent and phase faster, the guards - if following - would be unable to keep track._

_The second prince stopped once far enough and sure no one was following. He took a glance at his surroundings and immediately knew where he was._

_In front of Fandral's door._

* * *

"You have my word."

Loki nodded rather stiffly, the distress still present in those deep green eyes, "We cannot speak here," he whispered urgently, "We must go."

At this moment a million questions went through his head, but he could only nod dumbly. The second prince was taking him somewhere in the middle of the night, his parents weren't supposed to know a thing, he needed his help with something. What was going on here? Did he mess up something? Was it about his magic? Were they trying to take it from the sorcerer again?

None of those questions made it past his lips. Guards were heard outside and the next few things that happened were a blur. A hand on his own, a surge of energy, cold night air, fall, cool grass under his face, a forest.

"Apologies," said the dark prince kneeling next to him, "I had to improvise. I understand you may not be used to this kind of traveling."

The warrior sat upright and groaned, "Just warn me the next time," he almost whined.

"The guards were too close...I panicked..." he explained, sitting next to the warrior, hands in his lap, gaze downwards, "They won't find us here."

Fandral stared at him for a moment longer, but he was still sleepy, and teleporting did not help in the slightest, "...Why the secrecy..?" the question felt unfinished, but the mage let it go as quickly as he caught it.

Loki thought of everything that happened before he went - practically ran - to Fandral. All the memories of his childhood coming back to him, every single conversation, argument he had with the Allfather, the (fake) reassurance from the queen, his adoptive parents that took him in, but still kept him at arm's length, the last argument they had mare minutes ago. The fight... He hadn't been punished for a long time...not with physical blows, anyway. And to be struck by Gungnir...

The...prince - it doesn't feel right to be referred to as such anymore - he swallowed and started hesitantly "What I am about to tell you, no one else knows, not even Thor...I think," he added quietly. Loki was pulled again in his thoughts, and Fandral let him. Whatever this was, it was causing the prince younger man great distress.

He refocused on the conversation again, continuing, "It is only the king, the queen and I that know. And now I am going to tell you," the sorcerer glanced up, his gaze somewhat shying away from the warrior, "You gave me your word you will not tell anybody," he was dead serious, and the warrior nodded dumbly, a little taken aback with how quick the dark prince - _he's not a prince_ \- switched between emotions.

Loki inhaled deeply through his nose and exhaled slowly, "I..." he licked his lips, biting his lower one, "Thor is not my brother. I...I am adopted."

The last part was said so softly, Fandral wasn't sure if he was hearing things. He stared at the sorcerer for a long moment and the more he thought about it the more realistic it seemed. He was so different from the royal family, he wasn't brash and thirsty for adventures like Thor, wasn't acknowledged as equal to Thor, always the disappointment of the family. His appearance was also quite different from the other three members of the family. And it seemed like the king always looked down on his youngest, expecting more and more, and too much, always the impossible from Loki. And when he failed, it was something to do with the nobles, the court, the paperwork, all the hard work expected from a prince, the work Thor never did. It seemed like he really was that bad as described by everyone at one point, but now that he thought about it, those tricks weren't as bad too. Everyone needs to rest, to have a break at some point, even Odin. And everything the sorcerer did was in favor of the Realm. No, Loki wasn't as bad as everyone described, just misunderstood. And to think he had to deal with all of this on his own. Now it was more clear why everything he did was such big of a deal - in the worst way possible - whereas whatever Thor did was worth a celebration. That's why he kept to himself. He couldn't rely on anyone, and now that his world was shattered by the lie of his lineage. It was shocking how much the second prince could endure and still keep it together - until the most recent announcement of the Allfather. And how much more could he endure?

Fandral was touched that he was Loki's choice to confine this information. A warm smile crept on the warrior's face and before he knew it, he was hugging the younger man. They both were shocked, but Loki didn't pull away, relaxing slightly in the arms of his...friend. Yes, a friend. Fandral shifted and readjusted his hold of the lean man.

Neither of them knew how long they stayed there, hugging, when Fandral whispered, "Thank you."

"What for?" the sorcerer whispered back.

"For telling me."

Loki shuddered. If he broke down now, he knew he wouldn't be able to stop. But he kept to himself for so long, he couldn't keep going like that. He knew he had Thor by his side, but now it wasn't his blond, blue-eyed brother, it was his blond, blue-eyed friend. The first and only one he has ever had.

There was also the possibility he was faking it, winning him over, his trust, just to betray him one day, to get his reward. Loki was still his way of gaining status. Retrieving him would mean Fandral will find himself in the king's good grace. 

But the way he held the sorcerer, the warm smile, and the understanding in his eyes. To find out why you could never compete, no matter how hard you tried, was depressing. All his fears coming true, all his doubts swimming to the front of his head, the darkness he so desperately tried to keep at bay. He was willing to accept whatever comfort right now. And he was never wrong, no matter how sometimes he wished he was.

So, he let go. Let go of all his inner distress, anxiety, sorrow. If Odin and Frigga kept that a secret what other secrets they have? For now, he will forget about them, this was about him, not them. He could be a little selfish. 

Fandral wanted to ask how he was so sure? Did they tell him? Did he find out? Accidentally or intentionally? But the way the dark prince was shaking, the way his broken sobs sounded, he was sure of himself, and his findings. 

The sorcerer was never again going to be alone. Fandral vowed it, tightening his grip in what he hoped was a reassuring way.

They stayed like that for hours, even after Loki cried himself into sleep Fandral kept his firm hold. If no one's going to judge him then why should he care? The prince was leaning on Fandral's shoulder, head tilted downward. The warrior removed his armor, careful not to wake up the other. It took some time, but once finished he laid on the ground with the sorcerer on top of him. Sleep came quicker than expected afterward.

* * *

The next morning when he woke up he was greeted by the sleeping figure next to him. He quickly stood, a little embarrassed, when the events of last night caught up with him. Taking a look around he decided to go for a walk. It was too early for the other to be awake, probably won't be for another two hours.

Loki knew where he was when he spotted a familiar ancient, white tree. That meant they were near a small village. Maybe he'd go and buy something to eat. That was a decent plan. 

He turned in the direction of the village and walked until he finally reached it. It really didn't take long. He found his way to the seller's square and bought what he needed. A few people that spotted him, recognized him. Most were friends and people he knew, but others weren't. Apparently, word has reached those people and they knew what had befallen the Realm Eternal, so, unsurprisingly, they thought of him as an easy target. Trying and failing to rob, beat or even kidnap him, they all met the same faith. Falling unconscious or running away. The sorcerer wasn't sure what they'd heard, but if they thought him helpless...oh how wrong they are.

When he came back, Fandral was on his feet, looking a little nervous, confused, and - was that fear? All melted though, the second he saw the mage.

"I thought you left me alone," it was said lightly, supposed to be a little jokingly, but Loki also heard the slight tremor in his voice. His tone wasn't judging, accusing him of leaving, but Loki was as suspicious as ever.

The silence that followed made the warrior uneasy, so he tried to ask casually, "So, where have you been?"

The second prince - was he supposed to think of himself as such? - shrugged, walking up to the other man, "There is a village not so far from here. I went there to buy some food," and as if to emphasize what he just said, the sorcerer flicked his wrist and a basket appeared in his hand, which Fandral guessed was where the food is. The younger man handed it to his companion. In the basket were a few fruits, vegetables, bread, and a jam, none of those he recognized. They don't have them in Asgard. He looked up, raising a questioning brow at the sorcerer.

Loki huffed, "They are not poisoned if that's what you are thinking," the irritation was clear in his words.

"It's not that..." he looked uncertainly between the basket and the prince, "But it's good to know," he added when he saw the unamused look on the other's face, "Um...we don't have those in Asgard. How...how do you know they are safe to eat?" he questioned. 

Loki inhaled deeply, with that 'Really?' look of his in those deep green eyes. Fandral has noticed they were resonating with his emotions as well, when he is using his magic, that is.

"I have been here enough times to know these are edible," the sorcerer answered like it was the most obvious thing in the universe, which it might be. Fandral knew the prince liked traveling, so maybe this shouldn't have come as a surprise after all. Which led to his next question.

"And where are we?" he sat down and chose a strange red fruit - what he hoped was a fruit - with a few tentacle-like strands attached to a long green stem. He examined it while waiting for an answer.

"Alfheim," Loki answered easily. Somehow, this turned out to be his favorite place to hide, no one ever found him here, and the magic in the forest and the radiating one from the tree were enough to hide them from Heimdall. 

Fandral was looking at him with incredulous eyes, "Alheim? The elven realm? The realm you yourself insisted we never come back again?"

"Yes," Loki deadpanned with a roll of his eyes, "You do recall what happened the last time we came here, do you not?" he didn't even wait for the reaction, "Do you really think I would want this to happen again?"

There was a blunt 'No' from the warrior before Loki continued, "If I am being honest, I quite like the elves and their realm. But I would prefer I come here alone," he finished pointedly.

The warrior tried the fruit in his hand and hummed approvingly, "This is good," he nodded his head and reached for some other fruit, taking something pink, looking like a blueberry...ugh, pinkberry? Whatever, it tastes good. After swallowing a few more of those he said, "And you do remember you were the one teleporting us here."

"Yes," was the short reply, "And you would have preferred staying back on Asgard?" the sorcerer questioned implying he already knew the answer.

"No, of course not," Fandral made a mock-hurt impression of 'how could you say that?' before continuing in a lighter tone, "But I recall I wasn't the one that came in my room last night seeking help," he grinned.

Loki rolled his eyes, unimpressed. He sat down across from Fandral and reached into the basket, pulling something grey. They sat in silence, eating when a question popped in the warrior's head, "So, what's the plan?" the other looked at him with a lifted brow, "You told me last night you are adopted, and you were running from the guards, and the royal family. Do not tell me you are not planning something, because we both know, you always do," he was downright serious right now.

The silence stretched before Loki decided to explain himself, "I want to know who I am, where I come from. I admit I haven't got the time to think this over because I learned last night - I had my suspicions though - but I'm planning on learning more," he confessed.

The warrior nodded, "And me? Why come to me?"

"I have my reasons."

Another silence. Why it's so easy for them to fall silent with just two words? Somehow, it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable.

Then suddenly Fandral huffed a short laugh.

"What's so funny," Loki asked with this flat voice of his.

"You seem to have more control of your magic. Have you noticed?"

Loki made a humming noise, a surprised one, looking startled for a moment, before smoothing his features and placing a small pleasant smile on his lips, "I guess you are right."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, tell me if the story feels rushed. I don't have experience with those things (writing and love, both). And, yes, I know - OOCness everywhere. But I'm trying! And I like broken Loki... Don't judge...  
> Till next time!


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